A Christmas Carol (Part 2)

About ten million years ago, when I was very new to acting, I auditioned for A Christmas Carol at Hedgerow Theatre.  I was seven years old, and impressed the director with my audition and my hair.  I was proud that he loved my hair that much.  I was cast as Dorrit Cratchit…a Cratchit kid that’s never actually named, but they named her at Hedgerow.  And I proudly took on that role.  I was fast friends with the girl my age who was cast as Belinda Cratchit, and looked up to the older girl who was playing Martha.  All of the Cratchit kids bonded…it was another family.

For a child that young, I have many memories of A Christmas Carol.  It was one of those things that changed my life.  I’m going to make a quick Doctor Who joke, and say that me getting that part was a fixed point in time.  It was the first time I had ever been on a professional stage, and an opportunity that most children that age would never get.  A lot of kids auditioned for that show, and most of them were not cast.  At that age, all I wanted was to be on stage.  I had dreams of it.

I spent three years in A Christmas Carol at Hedgerow Theatre, two years playing Dorrit Cratchit, and one year playing the Ghost of Christmas Past.  I worked with tons of amazing actors, who taught me a lot about theatre and about who I was and who I could be.  I wouldn’t change any of that for the world, even though it wasn’t always necessarily easy.  It was definitely a lot of work for someone so young.  I missed school for shows, and got asked lots of hard questions in talk backs.  But it was worth every second.  It made me a different person, and I don’t just mean as an actor playing a role.

I gained so much confidence being a part of this show.  Yes, I was in other productions at Hedgerow Theatre, but A Christmas Carol was always something bigger in a way.  We were presenting a time honored and much beloved story.  There were people of all ages in the audience.  People who knew the story, people who didn’t know the story.  Kids and their parents and grandparents.  And even at a young age, I knew that was something remarkable.  I had to put on the best act I possibly could.

All of this made A Christmas Carol a special story, and a special play in my heart…one that still holds a dear place to this day.  It’s why I can watch the show and take so much away from it, even if it’s not the version that I got to be a part of.  A Christmas Carol has been told a million times in a million different ways, but I’ll always remember the one I was in.  We have a picture in the house, probably from my first year as Dorrit, with the Cratchit family standing on the stairs of Hedgerow Theatre, waving.  It was used as the flyer for the show that year.  But I remember the second family I knew throughout those few months preparing for the show.

It’s amazing the things that hold a place in your head.  I can remember one time where a fellow Cratchit kid stole my cup for a scene, and I had to improvise holding up nothing.  She thought she had me on that one, and was upset to see me acting as if nothing was wrong.  As the Ghost of Christmas Past, I had to hide under a blanket on a chair, and jump out at the right time.  I remember a lot from those times.  Trying not to sneeze so no one would notice me.  Avoiding a bug of some sort.  Almost jumping off the edge of the stage when my chair was placed a little too far downstage.  I remember my mom helping with costume changes backstage, and singing Christmas carols with all the other child actors during intermission.  I remember my mom doing my hair and makeup.  I was seven, eight, nine…but there was so much beauty in my life.  How could I ever forget?

Okay, so, I’m Jewish.  As a young child, I remember having a minor hangup on being in a Christmas play as a Jew.  But I think it was easy enough to just move forward.  Kids don’t really hang on to things the way adults sometimes do.  Sure, I didn’t know all the lyrics to the Christmas carols we sung.  And there were a lot of “Merry Christmas!”s.  But I was a part of something much bigger than just a Christmas play.  And I worked damn hard to make my mark in that play.  I really fought for the Ghost of Christmas Past role.  In a lot of ways, A Christmas Carol defined who I was as a child.

So A Christmas Carol has been a part of me and my life since I was seven years old.  I’ve read the novella and seen many different versions of the show, and it always brings me back to that part of my childhood.  The emotions that come up are very intense, but I’ve learned to embrace them.  There’s nothing better than something like it…and I will always treasure that.