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Small

Sometimes there are shows that just “wow” you.  This is even more special when you’re not expecting that “wow”.  I was very excited for Small going in, because it sounded phenomenal, and like something totally new and different, but I definitely wasn’t expecting to be knocked completely off my feet.  But this show did something for me that I haven’t necessarily felt in a long time.  And I’ve seen a lot of amazing shows.


Small was written by Robert Montano, who also performs it.  It is an autobiographical account of a boy’s discovery and growth of his passions.  The bulk of the show is about his yearning to be a jockey, and everything he does to make this dream possible.  Throughout the hour and a half show, Montano portrays at least a dozen different people who were a part of his life as a young person.  His performance was beyond remarkable, as he went from character to character, his voice changing, his body and physicality changing.  I was entranced.  I was on the edge of my seat.


The show was very fast paced.  It was truly like watching real life unfolding in front of me, all of it done by one person.  It didn’t matter that I know nothing about the world of horse racing.  Montano gave us all the background, all the key words to what we were watching.  We’re introduced to the highs and lows of this world.  I obviously don’t want to give any spoilers, but there were moments I was so hopeful, and moments I was absolutely devastated.  I couldn’t believe what I was watching half the time.  I was absolutely in awe.  I was truly “wow”ed by the play that I was watching.


One man shows are a bit tricky.  I know I’ve written about other one person shows, and one person shows in general, but this was a completely different experience.  Montano gave us a blow by blow account of his life.  His writing was stunning…I felt every emotion that the main character felt as he lived his adolescent life.  And he certainly went through a lot.  What he lived was tied in so nicely to the world of being a jockey.  I felt every pain, every struggle, every idiot move that Montano went through to reach a goal he thought was his dream, his passion.


Passion is really the key word here.  We really saw the passion that Montano lived, starting with dance as a young boy and leading towards his passion for racing horses and wanting to be a jockey.  Everything the character did was filled with passion.  Every good choice and every bad choice, was driven by a passion for what he was doing.  What he wanted to do.  Even if it meant completely destroying himself, by means of eating disorders and drug abuse.  In this way, I can’t necessarily say that his passion was a good thing, but it was passion nonetheless.  That’s something that’s a bit confusing when you really think about it, since passion is typically a good thing, but who’s to say it can’t go both ways?


I found myself wanting to know more.  I found myself brought into this world that has destroyed so many people.  The life of being a jockey is a dangerous one.  And I’m not just talking about the dangers of actual racing, where jockeys can be seriously injured or even killed.  In the program for Small, there is a page about the Permanently Disabled Jockeys Fund.  It’s terrifying that this is even a thing, though I suppose it’s a good thing the organization exists.  But there are other dangers of this life, such as maintaining a height and weight.  Some jockeys turn to extremely unhealthy means of managing this.


Did I care about any of this prior to watching Small?  Definitely not.  I had basic knowledge of horse racing and jockeys…by which I mean I knew that jockeys were typically short men.  Small men.  I think there was a Simpsons episode about it where the jockeys were elf creatures or something.  It’s not something I ever really cared about.  But watching Small, I really started to care.  I could feel the emotions crash over me, wave after wave of this life I never could imagine.


Montano has lived one helluva life.  What he went through, before he found his right place in the world, could shape a person in any way.  It could have completely destroyed him…but he didn’t let it.  The character we saw at the start of the show and the character we saw at the end of the show were both completely different and completely the same.  They were shaped by experiences…especially the man we saw at the end of the show.  It was beautifully delivered to the audience.


I feel like I didn’t blink throughout the entire show.  I feel like I lived a life in waves, watching Montano’s life as an outside observer.  It was the most incredible show I’ve seen in some time.  As I’m walking away from Small, I’m thinking about how our lives shape the people we become.  I think about the passions we have for what we do, and the importance of that passion.  How it can completely build us up or completely destroy us.  Of course, the world is never black and white, and Small conquers that thought with a vengeance.  It brings out so much of human nature, and really makes you go, “wow”.

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