Being backstage on a show is a much different experience than being onstage on a show.
Growing up, I thought my place was going to be onstage. When I worked my first show as a stage manager at age 23, I realized that I liked being backstage much more than being on stage. It was definitely a surprise to me, but in all fairness, I had never had that experience before. I walked into that position totally by mistake, and I’m so grateful I did. I discovered a whole different perspective on theatre, and my role in it.
Working in NYC was so much fun. I may not have been on Broadway, or off Broadway, but I was still working in the city. Those first few stage managing jobs, which I was hired for by a family friend, I did a lot. I stage managed, I ran lights and sounds, and I was crew during intermission to change scenery and props. I also got to prepare everything before the show. I did a lot, and I loved every second of it. It was like nothing I had ever done before. That was when I knew that that was where I belonged.
Acting is a thrill. There’s nothing in the world like being on stage. I always loved getting to be someone other than myself. I loved all eyes being on me, or my fellow actors, getting to work with people outside of my own world. There were times where I hated being Zoé, and getting to be a character made my life more livable. From the time I was six years old, I really, really loved it. That was supposed to be my life. Of course, things changed in my life, including the future I always imagined myself in as an actor. That’s just life.
Stage managing brought out something new in me. It was something that I had no idea I would be any good at, and it turned out it was a perfect fit. I learned how to do the job quickly, and really just threw my all into it. Being behind the scenes of everything was something new to me, and I discovered that I thrived there.
There are lots of stereotypes about actors. And I can’t really deny a lot of those. But being backstage is a different type of persona. We’re not back there because we want attention, of course. Being backstage is about making the show run seamlessly. You really can’t have a show without that side of things, which is something that most people don’t really think about. There are the people making costumes, people making sets, people running all over NYC trying to find props (it is frighteningly difficult to find a dart board in NYC), and you can’t have a show without those people.
It even goes beyond that. There are light and sound designers. There are people picking out the music that’s going to play. Being back stage is extremely intense, especially because those are the people who are getting a lot less recognition. And you can keep going further and further…the director, the playwright. Everyone who puts things together to be able to present a show to the audience.
It’s definitely not easy on the other side of the stage. Not that I’m saying it’s easy on the side of the stage that you see, because having been on both sides, they’re equally challenging. It also depends on the type of show it is. When I was stage managing in NYC, I was doing a bit of everything. And I would be calling “places”, going into the theatre and giving the curtain speech, and rushing to the back of the theatre, up a raggedy wooden ladder, and getting the show going. If I didn’t run a tight ship, if I slipped up even the tiniest bit, things would fall apart. When I was stage managing with New Voices, I spent most of the shows backstage, making sure the kids were staying on point. Same idea, different situations.
I guess one of the questions is why we do this if we know people aren’t going to even be thinking about us. Sure, there are award shows where costume and scenic designers can be recognized, but no one is ever going to know about Zoé Goldberg-Smotherman, stage manager. And I’ve learned that that’s really okay. I actually kind of like it better that way. We love what we do. Just as it’s some people’s passion to be onstage, it’s some people’s passion to be backstage…or anywhere behind the scenes. I have a friend who has expressly said that she just wants to hang lights. This is just what we do.
So maybe the next time you go to see a show, you should think about all the people who aren’t onstage, but are making the show run. Maybe you can look up to the booth where the stage manager is, or the catwalk way above you where there’s someone running the spotlight. Read the bio of the director and playwright. Appreciate the costumes you’re seeing, the way the lights fade and rise. There are people who worked really hard to make that happen, and people working really hard in the moment to make the show run. We’re just as important as the people giving you the story onstage. Because we’re the ones who make that story possible from the very start.
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